what's wrong???

my pulse rate is 112/min rite now! very abnormal! its the first time that ive actually felt the need to find out my pulse rate! im confused...im lost n im veryyyyyyy irritated...what adds to the problem is that i dont know why im in such a terrible mood. STRANGE

im writing after almost a month...long time but i haven't really missed it. STRANGE

i remember getting really excited about writing a blog sometime in january when i knew that i couldn't(12th boards u see...i had enough distractions already!)...n now that i have all the time in the world to write here i dont seem to be doing it!! STRANGE

its been 2 months since the boards got over n yet it seems like just yesterday! these 2 months have flown past me like never before. wonder how! considering i had 24 hours a day for 60 days all to myself...in normal circumstances this time would seem an eternity...time would just not tick but its been different this time...
i had joined a coaching institute to prepare for entrances, 2 hours a day, 7 days a week...good timepass i had thought but i happened to land in the most disorganised setup possible. somehow tolerated these classes for almost a month and a half only to realise that we hadnt gotten anywhere in such a lot of time! bad experience!

i learnt to drive meanwhile...took the driving school lessons for 7 days n managed pretty well(i like to believe:P)..but even this plan got stalled mid way! i was supposed to be learning on my car after the course was over but dad refused to gimme the car..he wants me to wait till he gets a new car(wonder when thats gonna b) n promises to give this one to me after that(yeaaaaaaah)!well he's justified in doing so...coz if anything happens to the car while i handle it(which is quite likely), we're gonna be stranded! [for those of u who dont know...i live in a jungle! yup..its almost a jungle...the defence colonies happen to be in such places u see!]
stranded coz there's no transpost available within 1 n a half kilometers!!! all this didnt leave me with much option but to agree with him![hope he gets a new car soon]
next in line was an anxious wait for the dreaded board result! ive got a decent enough score but i know i deserved more. i've got a 77 in english...brilliant no?? can CBSE please explain how they come up with such things! a 77!!! a goddamn 77...wow!!
its time now to run around colleges...fill up forms...its time for COLLEGE finally! feels good..feels grown up. hope i get into a decent D.U. college!!

back to the point where i started..there's something wrong with me today...n strangely there's nobody i can talk to rite now...every1 is busy... either with work or with ignoring me!! my patience is finally giving way now...ive tried my best to keep friendships intact till now but i somehow get a feeling that things are going to change now...for the better or the worse i dont know...but they will change!
ive been listening to this song[thanks vands] for the past few minutes n i kinda like what it says---

Hum na samjhe the
baat itni si
khaab sheeshe ke
duniya paththar ki

Aarzoo humne ki to gham paae
Aarzoo humne ki to gham paae
roshni saath laai thi saaye
saaye gehre the
roshni halki
[this is my fav stanza...sooooooooo true!!!]

Hum na samjhe the
baat itni si

Sirf veeranee sirf tanhayee
sirf veeranee sirf tanhayee
zindagi humko ye kahan laayee
kho gayi humse raah manzil ki

Hum na samjhe the
baat itni si
khaab sheeshe ke
duniya paththar ki

Hum na samjhe the
baat itni si

kya koi beche kya koi baante
kya koi beche kya koi baante
apne daaman mein sirf hain kaante
aur dukanein hain sirf phoolon ki

Hum na samjhe the
baat itni si.....

i have failed...failed to understand people so close to me. yup...main nahi samjhi thi...baat itni si!!!